The Leadership Lessons I Didn’t Expect to Learn Outside the Office

By Katie Bennett-Stenton, IABC Victoria Board Member

I recently travelled to Canberra for the launch of a new book published by Eating Disorders Families Australia.

It wasn’t the kind of project I ever expected to be a part of.

Over the past two decades, I’ve worked in senior marketing, communications and strategy leadership roles, helping organisations navigate change, build trust and communicate through complexity. The chapter I contributed to this book, however, wasn’t about transformation programs, stakeholder strategies or organisational positioning.

It was about leadership, communication and hope, learned through one of the most challenging periods of my life.

Since launch, the response has been extraordinary. The book quickly became the #1 bestselling book on Amazon Australia, and shortly afterwards I was interviewed by The Age and The Sydney Morning Herald about the experience and what it taught me.

What struck me most through that process was how relevant these lessons are for communicators and leaders.

 Because while we often learn leadership in boardrooms, strategy sessions and transformation programs, some of the most meaningful leadership lessons are shaped outside the office.

And for those of us in the IABC community, those lessons are particularly powerful.

We work at the intersection of leadership, change and culture. We help organisations navigate uncertainty. We support leaders through complexity. And increasingly, we are helping organisations communicate in more human, authentic ways.

Here are a few of the leadership lessons I didn’t expect to learn outside the office.

 Leadership isn’t always polished

During this period, I continued working in senior roles, presenting to executives, advising leadership teams and managing complex work.

Like many professionals, I kept showing up.

But I wasn’t always at my best. I was stretched, navigating uncertainty and learning, in real time, what leadership looks like when life is messy.

It made me rethink how we often define leadership.

Leadership is often portrayed as composed, confident and controlled. Yet in reality, leadership often looks very different. Sometimes it is simply showing up when things are hard. Sometimes it is leading through ambiguity. Sometimes it is being honest about uncertainty while still providing direction.

I realised that leadership isn’t always about projecting certainty. Sometimes it is about modelling resilience, empathy and authenticity.

For communicators, this matters deeply. Increasingly, audiences respond to leaders who are human, not perfect. Authentic leadership builds trust. And trust, as we know, is at the heart of effective communication.

Communication matters most when things are hard

One of the most striking lessons was how much communication matters during uncertainty.

There were moments when I stepped out of meetings to take urgent calls. Times when I needed to quickly recalibrate while still delivering professionally. Days when clarity and composure mattered more than ever. 

It reinforced something we see in organisations every day: communication matters most when things are hard.

During transformation, restructuring or uncertainty, people don’t expect perfection. They expect honesty, clarity and empathy.

Small moments of communication also matter more than we often realise. A thoughtful check-in. A leader acknowledging uncertainty. A colleague offering quiet support. These moments shape culture in powerful ways.

For communicators, this is the work we do every day. Living through it personally reinforced just how important that work really is.

Lived experience shapes better leaders

One of the most transformative parts of my experience was connecting with people who had walked a similar path. Their lived experience brought insight, empathy and perspective that no textbook or framework could replicate.

It reminded me that lived experience is one of the most powerful drivers of leadership.

In organisations, we often talk about diversity of thought and perspective. Lived experience is a critical part of that. It shapes how we listen, how we communicate and how we support others.

When leaders bring empathy and understanding to their roles, culture shifts. Trust builds. Psychological safety strengthens. 

For communicators, this is particularly relevant as we help shape inclusive, human-centred organisations.

Hope is a leadership capability 

Perhaps the most important lesson was this: hope is not passive. It is active. And it is a leadership capability.

During difficult periods, people look to leaders for signals, not just of strategy, but of belief in the future.

This doesn’t mean ignoring challenges. It means acknowledging reality while still creating a sense of possibility.

In organisations navigating change, this is essential. Teams need realism, but they also need belief in what comes next. Leaders who can hold both are often the most effective.

As communicators, we play a central role in shaping that narrative. We help organisations articulate where they are heading and why it matters. That is powerful work.

Leadership beyond the office

Reflecting on the book launch in Canberra, the strong response since, and the conversations that followed, one thing became very clear.

Leadership is shaped as much by life as it is by professional experience.

It influences how we listen. How we communicate. How we lead. And how we support others.

For those of us in the IABC community, this matters. Our work is fundamentally human. We help organisations navigate change, but we also help people navigate uncertainty, complexity and growth.

Behind every strategy, every transformation and every organisational change are human beings navigating lives we may know little about.

When we lead and communicate with that understanding, we create stronger organisations, more effective leadership and more compassionate workplaces.

As a member of the IABC Victoria Board, I see this every day across our community. Communicators are increasingly being called upon not just to shape messages, but to shape leadership, culture and trust.

Perhaps the leadership lessons that shape us most are not the ones we learn in workshops or frameworks, but the ones life teaches us when we least expect it.

Because often, the experiences we don’t plan for are the ones that shape us most.